Thursday, May 20, 2010

Where Will Lindsay Lohan's Body Be Found a Year from Now?

Blocking industrial waste run-off pipe

Starring dead-eyed up at nine first-year medical students in Antigua

Serving as load-bearing beam for yurt

Assisting in buoyancy for gruesome reenactment of Kon-Tiki expedition

Making numerous pratfalls in gender re-imagining of Weekend at Bernie's

Scaring crows from tasty corn

Pressed tightly against crack under closed door to prevent further heat from escaping

Partially reanimated to wave arms frantically over head, attracting potential customers to new car lot

Repeatedly drowning and resurfacing in Old Williamsburg water mill

Helping her mom use the HOV lane during rush hour

1 comment:

markanthonyramirez said...

with my luck in my house...I will find the body on a project bench feel badly for her and bring her upstairs try to revive her then take pics of her with my kids, then stuff her down the garbage chute..