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- Francesco Marciuliano
- New York, NY, United Arab Emirates
- Pens the comic strips Sally Forth and Medium Large. Writes for The Onion News Network. Serves as head writer for the PBS series SeeMore's Playhouse (for which his script won two regional Emmys). Was afraid of the color yellow until about age nine. Tans a little too well to be trusted by security.
Comics Kingdom
Blog Mission Statement
A simple grilled cheese sandwich. Something that can be procured anywhere at any time. Nothing too exciting, right?
But what if I put a little butter on the bread before I grilled that sandwich? That would add a little extra zing, right? And what if instead of using plain old American cheese I opted for something a tad more exotic, like Camembert, Stilton or Roquefort? Now we're talking, right?
And what if instead of using bread for my grilled cheese sandwich I used two large blocks of pure platinum? And what if instead of eating the platinum I sold it and then used that small fortune as venture capital for a Beijing-based conglomerate that could take advantage of Chinese local business incentives, cheap labor, lax environmental laws and surging global interest in the fastest-growing economy in the world, thereby ensuring returns in the billions of dollars even in the face of a collapsing U.S. dollar and a massive industrial shift from the technical to service business sector? Wouldn't that be nice?
That's exactly what Francesco Explains It All is. In an endless buffet of indistinguishable tastes, it's the grilled platinum Stilton cheese sandwich that could forever destabilize geoeconomics. Care for a bite?
But what if I put a little butter on the bread before I grilled that sandwich? That would add a little extra zing, right? And what if instead of using plain old American cheese I opted for something a tad more exotic, like Camembert, Stilton or Roquefort? Now we're talking, right?
And what if instead of using bread for my grilled cheese sandwich I used two large blocks of pure platinum? And what if instead of eating the platinum I sold it and then used that small fortune as venture capital for a Beijing-based conglomerate that could take advantage of Chinese local business incentives, cheap labor, lax environmental laws and surging global interest in the fastest-growing economy in the world, thereby ensuring returns in the billions of dollars even in the face of a collapsing U.S. dollar and a massive industrial shift from the technical to service business sector? Wouldn't that be nice?
That's exactly what Francesco Explains It All is. In an endless buffet of indistinguishable tastes, it's the grilled platinum Stilton cheese sandwich that could forever destabilize geoeconomics. Care for a bite?
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12 comments:
I think he went just far enough. She's horrible and she needs to hear that.
Not too far; just counterproductive. The mother-in-law now has the perfect opportunity to play the poor, poor, innocent victim to her "mean" son-in-law. It won't clue her in to the fact that she's horrible, far from it: it simply justifies her attitude.
If anything it's too bland compared to that awful, awful slur she just made. Really: what a monster.
Nope. She's just lucky he didn't unleash a robot monkey on her.
He could have said much worse... ;)
Nah, she had it coming. You don't get respect for being old, you get respect for acting like a human being.
That would be a terrible thing to say to a real grandmother, but it's completely hilarious.
He went awesome. Way to show spine ted.
Considering that his reptilian brain is crying out to turn her into a lovely minced side dish, I think he showed remarkable restraint.
If you push Ted's buttons as often as Sally's mom does, sometimes candy comes out. Not too far.
Nope, not too far at all.
No! I wanted to say, go Ted!! And considering I am a pscyh nurse of 30 years, that's a heartfelt response. We need to set boundaries sometimes. Someone like Laura is never going to "get it"- don't bother trying. Just protect yourself from such persons. I am SO glad that Ted modeled to the world that it's OK to protect oneself!
Please please let Sally follow suit and set boudaries too, with Mom AND sister! Why should we let anyone ruin our Thanksgivings?? America is watching and hoping Sal!
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