Thursday, December 31, 2009

My 2010 New Years Resolutions

• Write the Great American Book Review on

• Earn a PhD. in air conditioning and refrigeration.

• Travel to a wildlife preserve operated by Six Flags.

• Have a threesome for Scrabble or Netflix.

• Learn to fly a plane simulator on the PC.

• Have a career I enjoy fantasizing about during office hours.

• Help my fellow man by actually putting something in the tip jar at Subway.

• See the pyramids for what they really are on the Discovery Channel.

• Start eating healthier junk food or at least fewer Diary Queen Blizzards.

• Get a tattoo appointment.

• Learn another language is hard to master…or even converse in above a nursery school level.

• Reorganize my priorities by deliciousness.

• See more of the U.S. through various business flight connections.

• Start exercising my options about which gym to join.

• Learn to play an instrument, like the tambourine or triangle.

• Fall in love with a television character.

• Get to know more people through “The Sims.”

• Backpack across Staten Island.

• Study art by way of museum gift shop postcards.

• Create my own small company letterhead.

• Start watching less television while driving.

• Go cliff diving, skydiving or mountain climbing out of necessity to escape an angry mob.

• Learn to appreciate opera references in old Bugs Bunny cartoons.

• Take up horse riding at a Shetland pony ranch.

• Remove the clutter in my life through delinquent payments.

• Prepare to eventually enter a marathon by carbo-loading today.

• Achieve greater spiritual enlightenment by starting less fights on the supermarket checkout line.

• Not only come to terms with my shortcomings but also embrace them as valid excuses.


T said...

Diary Queen? Sounds like a theme for a new series of teen angst novels.

Todd HellsKitchen said...

Happy New Year!!!

Postcards from Hell's Kitchen blog.

Ray Avito said...

YES!! Shortcomings as valid excuses!

markanthonyramirez said...

Brilliant stuff bro!

zero hour said...

I have the tattoo appointment on my list as well...hmmm

cdb said...

so knowing approximately 50 words of Spanish does not make me bilingual? Better update my resume. Damn!

Aviatrix said...

I'll help you with the flight simulator if I can come with you on the hiking trip.