Friday, May 29, 2009

Summer, Here Comes Ces

Well, summer is here and with it all the great, life-altering plans I have for myself. This is the summer I'm really going to search out my destiny, not just await its arrival. This is the summer I'm going to take those first important steps to becoming the person I always knew in my heart I could be, not just walk the same old path. This is summer I finally sign up for NetFlix. This is the summer I finally make use of my Wii Fit. This is the summer I make my own frozen treats with nothing but orange juice, toothpicks, Saran Wrap, ice cube tray and a complete disregard for the fact that a "Sunshine on a Stick" sounds like something you bring to a rave:

Yes, Summer will be my moment. Summer will be my time to shine, to get my act together, to improve not only my life and outlook but also my very soul. Summer will definitely be my year. Uh, season. Whatever.

And just to prove that this isn’t another case of idle boasting or mothballed dreams, I have decided to enroll in an adult education course or 12. And while I was indeed surprised to learn just how many classes are no more than a chance to get an autograph from a D-list celebrity or learn that shyness is a poor tool in self-promotion, there were a few options that sounded if not educational at least not entirely booked up:

“Getting Your Classified Ad Published”
“Cooking with Ingredients”
“Finding Your Inner Child with a Flashlight and Scalpel”
“Avoiding Intimacy Issues”
“Daytrading, Horse Track Betting, Slots—The Three Paths to Financial Success”

So wish me luck as I begin "The Summer of Ces."


Jim said...

I tried making "Sunshine on a Stick" once. The toothpicks ended up at weird angles, and actually eating the OJ cubes can get pretty messy (the melting starts fairly quickly).

So now I stick to hankerin' for a hunk of cheese.

Jennifer said...

Oh, Jesus.
Wasn't there also one with they line, "I hanker for a hunk. of. cheese!" ???
Please tell me there was...

PNB Dave said...

I hanker for a hunk of -- a slab or slice or chunk of -- I hanker for a hunk of cheese.