Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Upcoming Small-Town Newspaper Headlines

Ice Cream Man Abandons Truck, Dreams

Local Church Looks to God for Answers

When Push Came to Shove, Elderly Man Lost Footing

Well, Well, Look Who Got Himself a Toro

Much Needed Rain Mixes Things Up

New Mascot Recalls School's Racist, Anti-Semitic Past

Readers Express Sadness over Despondency

Who Let the Dogs Out?: Bites, Maulings Way Up

Lottery to Solve All

Mom Inspires Orphans to "Create" Family Trees

Quilting Spelling Bee Seeks Glory on All Fronts

Town Officials Not Having Any of It

High School Valedictorian Ready to Leave

Developer Turns Attention to Real Estate

Out with the Old: Veterans' Day Parade Happens


Brian Smith said...

I just lost a statewide headline-writing contest to "Hogs scoot with the boot," so I can only imagine how poorly I would have fared against any of these.

So thank you for amusing me, then for leaving me more depressed than before, then for giving me this space to ramble aimlessly.

Joe said...

I believe "Lottery to Solve All" is the new California state motto.

tchedoen said...

My Gawd, you've been reading my hometown paper.