Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Craigslist “Roommate Wanted” Ads

“Wanted: Ally in ongoing feud with third roommate. Must be on same page regarding Christmas tree disposal.”

“Looking for exceptionally cooperative, supportive, stay-at-home roommate to replace helper monkey who thought he could just wash ALL my clothes in hot water.”

“We are a couple going through empty nest syndrome who want to share our home and have it once more filled with the sounds of laughter. You are five years old and like ponies.”

“I have found the following ethnic, racial, religious and gender groups just don’t get me and so do not make for good roommates…”

“Rent to be determined by attractiveness of your elbow.”

“For rent in Manhattan: Small fort made from sofa cushions. $900/month. Pets OK.”

“Someone who won’t get emotionally attached to plastic silverware that comes with delivery food. Can’t believe I have to stress that. Again.”

“If you don’t know who Lion-O and Cheetara were, we’re gonna have problems.”

“Six more people and we can afford AC this summer!”

“This is a picture of my room. MY ROOM! NOT YOURS! MINE! Understand?”

“Prefer smart, successful professional who his good with bills and pending litigation and stuff.”

“Free room for anyone who will ghostwrite my three-book autobiography, So Many Figurines.”

“Requirements: Clean, pious Christian male furry. Preferably bunny.”

“What you see is what you get. No photos available.”

“Must be ‘420 friendly.’ I’ll have large fries and an apple pie to go. Wait, can you order McDonald’s food over the Internet? Oh man, did I just type ‘Oh, man’?”

“Husband and wife seeking a female roommate “with benefits.” Experience with light rigging and sound mixing a must.”

“Wanted: Someone who is not Steve Lippman. Go to hell, Steve!”


A. said...

Brilliant. :)

BlueNight said...

Hm. Not only am I not a bunny, I also have a room to rent. Seems like I'm competing against whoever-this-is for the same core group...

Anonymous said...

Wow! Can I link to this post from my site?


Are you an Indian looking for a roommate?

You can find roommates and flatmates at http://www.indiaflatmate.com/

Unknown said...

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