How things have changed. If the US were to land on the moon today, we'd probably leave it up to no-bid outside contractors, and an insurgency would immediately appear on the lunar surface demanding that we quit occupying their satellite.
Pens the comic strips Sally Forth and Medium Large. Writes for The Onion News Network. Serves as head writer for the PBS series SeeMore's Playhouse (for which his script won two regional Emmys). Was afraid of the color yellow until about age nine. Tans a little too well to be trusted by security.
A simple grilled cheese sandwich. Something that can be procured anywhere at any time. Nothing too exciting, right?
But what if I put a little butter on the bread before I grilled that sandwich? That would add a little extra zing, right? And what if instead of using plain old American cheese I opted for something a tad more exotic, like Camembert, Stilton or Roquefort? Now we're talking, right?
And what if instead of using bread for my grilled cheese sandwich I used two large blocks of pure platinum? And what if instead of eating the platinum I sold it and then used that small fortune as venture capital for a Beijing-based conglomerate that could take advantage of Chinese local business incentives, cheap labor, lax environmental laws and surging global interest in the fastest-growing economy in the world, thereby ensuring returns in the billions of dollars even in the face of a collapsing U.S. dollar and a massive industrial shift from the technical to service business sector? Wouldn't that be nice?
That's exactly what Francesco Explains It All is. In an endless buffet of indistinguishable tastes, it's the grilled platinum Stilton cheese sandwich that could forever destabilize geoeconomics. Care for a bite?
2 comments:
How things have changed. If the US were to land on the moon today, we'd probably leave it up to no-bid outside contractors, and an insurgency would immediately appear on the lunar surface demanding that we quit occupying their satellite.
That was interesting. I've never heard the unedited version before. Still, I think they must have cut out Neil Armstrong's first words on the moon:
"That's one small step for man...one giant leap for mankind. Oh, shit, I fucked that up. I was supposed to say 'a' man. Houston, can I get a do-over?"
"Tranquilty Base, negatory on the do-over. We'll edit it for broadcast. Just try not to fuck anything else up, OK? Jesus Christ. Over."
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