Monday, September 8, 2008

How Ted Forth Tries to Make Friends at Work


Asks coworkers which limb they would most like to be on Voltron.

Whenever there's a lull in business conversation says, "Look what I can do with my tongue."

Every Monday morning leaves a candy heart on each person's desk that reads, "U R NICE."

Tries to carefully remove any unsightly strands of hair from men's shoulders.

Always compliments female coworkers' wardrobe choices by exclaiming, "Say goodbye to my eyes' diet because you look de-lish-us!"

Tries to engage in every conversation he passes by suddenly stopping, saying, "I heard that!" and then patiently waiting and smiling until someone fills him in on what exactly they're talking about.

Has tried on more than one occasion to get a game of "telephone" started around the conference table.

Offers free egg creams to the first 80 people who stop by his office each day.

At 4:30 PM every Friday he breaks out the boom box, blares the Pointer Sisters' I'm So Excited and invites everyone to join him in shaking off "those workweek willies!"

Asks point blank, "Will you be my friend?"

11 comments:

Andrea said...

Oh, I hope some of these appear in the comic someday ...

PlaidPhantom said...

I feel sorry for Ted. He's just your average nerdy, slightly dysfunctional guy with a talent for obscure pop culture references, yet he is stuck in a universe created by a cartoonist who is entirely preoccupied with making Ted appear to be a complete doofus.

Eric said...

Re: today's strip

Wasn't there a storyline a couple years ago where Ted couldn't make time to play basketball with his friends because he'd lose time with his family? Priorities, Ted, priorities.

Brian Smith said...

I'm having trouble getting Ted's exact tone on the "I heard that!" thing. Is it a sassy "I heard THAT!"? Is it a more thoughtful "*I* heard that!"? Is it an excited, all-caps "I HEARD THAT!"?

Personally, I'm holding out hope that he's got a scolding tone and channeling Barth from "You Can't Do That On Television," saying, "I HEARD that!" But that's just me.

Wallsy said...

I love Ted Forth. :-)

yellojkt said...

Then there's the habit of relating all political debates to something that happened on Battlestar Galactica.

"That's exactly what happened when Rosslyn tried to fix the election but got caught by Gaeda."

Norah said...

Ces, why are you making poor Ted friendless? He used to have friends before, didn't he? Is it just because he changed jobs and hasn't had to make new friends in a long time, so is having trouble befriending his new co-workers? I agree with plaidphantom, people are going to think Ted is just hopeless and start to not like him or something. Lots of guys are geeky like he is--seems like he'd have no problem making friends. He doesn't have Asperger's or anything like that, does he? Pleeeeeease, if you're to give him Asperger's, please explain what it is and that people who have it aren't usually office shooters or something, pleeeeease! People don't understand if they see someone without friends, they think he's Ted Bundy or something! Please, please don't do this with Ted Forth!

Francesco Marciuliano said...

Ted Forth simply has not been able to make friends at his new work environment. He is by no means a loner or crippled socially. And when I write about Ted's geekiness I celebrate it, not denigrate it. After all, with the exception of the wife, kid, brown hair and tiny hands I AM Ted Forth.

PlaidPhantom said...

I actually write that comment and you start in on a storyline that threatens flesh out Ted's character. Just my luck. ;)

Perhaps part of my issue with Ted's portrayal is that it feels that the dorkiness is the only side of Ted that we regularly see. Perhaps I have a relatively short memory. That's entirely possible. ;)

Though in my own defense, my first comment wasn't entirely serious in the first place. Though I didn't convey that very well (or at all).

Laura said...

Ces,

You spot on in today's (Sept 11th) strip. I worked in an office where they all talked about golf and sports, and I had *nothing * I could say to any of them, so I agree with him completely.

On the other hand, I also worked in an office where, when we hired people, they had to show they knew either Monty Phython, or Star Trek, or baring that, the Muppet Show.

Stuart said...

After I go to buy viagra at the supermarket, arrive to my house to read with my brother what's going on with Ted and generally we fell sorry for him,