On Losing:
• “I’m so angry I could punch an immigrant baby!”
• “How could we fail Saudi Arabia so?!”
• “When will these earthlings realize that caring for your fellow man is but a sign of weakness?”
• “See what happens when you continue to fund education?”
• “It’s just as they predicted in ‘Revelations: The Wal-Mart Edition’!”
• “They can’t take office if there’s no United States to lead.”
• “Tell Fox News they can change their name back to The German Workers Party Network.”
• “Next time we attack them in their dreams.”
• “Well, this is why we have a military. Secure the capital.”
• “Alert Mordor!”
On Winning:
• “Finally, now we can get to work on that death ray.”
• “Ahhh, another four years to get Jesus on some currency.”
• “Well, now that the election’s over we can release the blacks and women.”
• “Award the NRA ten Senate seats.”
• “At least we’ll never have to bother with another election again.”
• “If only they knew how close we were to releasing small pox.”
• “Back to fighting Oceania…or was it Eurasia?”
• “Next order of business, deciding on a citizen uniform.”
• “BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”
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