Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Because Deep Down We All Want a Monkey


Ad thoughtfully provided by Artie Langston.

Why do I love this ad? It's not simply the way the monkey is superimposed on a picture of a hand, as if they couldn't find a model actually willing to hold the creature for more than two seconds without fear of being mauled, peed upon or fornicating with what appears to be a pinky ring. Or how the monkey seems to be wearing the first-ever flannel belly shirt, like a cross between grunge and the Jersey Shore. Or that the ad takes special care to highlight the word "YOUNG," as if squirrel monkeys are well-known for their Dorian Gray-like imperviousness to the ravages of age. It's that the copy stresses that the monkeys like "lollipops." What kind of freak-ass Lolita fetish must they think the average primate consumer has that the idea of a "YOUNG" squirrel monkey sucking on a Charms Blow Pop while strutting around the perimeter of a kitchen island in a half-shirt will cause orders to flood into a business curiously named after a parable on the inherent evils of not only Stalinism but also permitting animals into your home?

All that said, I'm writing my check now.

4 comments:

Naked Bunny with a Whip said...

The monkey: $18.95.

Spanking the monkey: priceless.

Why yes, I do hate myself.

zero hour said...

I DO need a monkey pal..I do, I do....

Ray Avito said...

The Lolita connection put this already crazy ad right over into Classicville...

Danny Sichel said...

The best part of this ad is seeing people who respond to it.

Now.

In 2010.

Even though it's just a scanned-in old image of a long-expired ad.