Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Because Deep Down We All Want a Monkey


Ad thoughtfully provided by Artie Langston.

Why do I love this ad? It's not simply the way the monkey is superimposed on a picture of a hand, as if they couldn't find a model actually willing to hold the creature for more than two seconds without fear of being mauled, peed upon or fornicating with what appears to be a pinky ring. Or how the monkey seems to be wearing the first-ever flannel belly shirt, like a cross between grunge and the Jersey Shore. Or that the ad takes special care to highlight the word "YOUNG," as if squirrel monkeys are well-known for their Dorian Gray-like imperviousness to the ravages of age. It's that the copy stresses that the monkeys like "lollipops." What kind of freak-ass Lolita fetish must they think the average primate consumer has that the idea of a "YOUNG" squirrel monkey sucking on a Charms Blow Pop while strutting around the perimeter of a kitchen island in a half-shirt will cause orders to flood into a business curiously named after a parable on the inherent evils of not only Stalinism but also permitting animals into your home?

All that said, I'm writing my check now.

4 comments:

Sedary said...

The monkey: $18.95.

Spanking the monkey: priceless.

Why yes, I do hate myself.

PATTY LEIDYS ZERO HOUR said...

I DO need a monkey pal..I do, I do....

Ray Avito said...

The Lolita connection put this already crazy ad right over into Classicville...

dsichel@gmail.com said...

The best part of this ad is seeing people who respond to it.

Now.

In 2010.

Even though it's just a scanned-in old image of a long-expired ad.