Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Section Headlines from the Latest Lehman Brothers Employee Newsletter

Heads Up from the Head Office: Why Your Paycheck Was Postdated

News Nibbles: Study Proves Crying Won't Change Anything

Getting Technical: E-Mail, Voice Mail to Be Replaced by Carbon Paper, Shouting

FUN-damentals: For the Last Time, Vending Machines Not to Be Restocked

Body English: Healthcare Coverage Phased Out in Favor of Condolence Cards

Fiscally Fit: Your 401(k)--Letting Go

Morale Morsel: Accepting Change (from Strangers)

Recent Announcements: The following employee ID cards are no longer valid...

Want Ads:
For Sale--Human eggs, $6000 per harvest.
For Sale--House, car, gold fillings. Prices negotiable.
For Sale: Healthy infant. Still unnamed. Responds well to affection.
To Buy: Ammunition, firearms, all varieties. Easy money. No questions.


yellojkt said...

Sherman McCoy is no longer a Master of the Universe. Or a Big Swinging Dick.

noninedaywonder said...

Dear Francesco, I need a Sally forth RSS. I can't keep up with it without an rss. well I could but I'd miss a few days. do you know where I can find one?