Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Letters, I Get Two Letters...

Letter One:

Dear Francesco,

A couple of weeks ago, my sister-in-law called me in tears, consumed with worry over how to deal with her mom, who manages to cause new grief with every encounter, in spite of the fact that her daughter is happily married, living responsibly, and raising a wonderful child. I sent her the Sally Forth strips for that week, in which Sally's mom perverts every conversation and puts her successful daughter down.

The comic strip has recently been more real, more perceptive, more touching and liberating than ever before. I hope you collect the recent work -- Ted's unemployment, Sally's relationship with her mother, Hillary's social outsider status -- into a little book.

Wanting to thank and compliment you for the recent strips, I searched you on Google -- found your MySpace page -- and learned that you adopted Sally Forth from a previous writer. He did well enough to keep me reading, but you have taken the strip to another level entirely. This is great literature, and undoubtedly great therapy for many readers!

In all sincerity, thank you so much.

(Reader's Name Removed for Sake of Privacy)

Letter Two:

Dear Francesco,

None of us at Archie Comics appreciated your strip attached above telling your readers not to purchase Betty & Veronica Double Digest #151. Further, you conveyed the wrong information to your readers. We only changed the look of the Archie characters for one 112 page story which will be serialized in four consecutive issues of B&V Double Digest starting with issue #151. Each one of these Digests contains 192 pages of which only 25 or 28 pages will feature the new look. For years, our readers have asked us how our characters would look if drawn in a slightly more sophicisticated style and with a more sophisticated storyline. Under no circumstances are we planning to change the entire line of our Archie Comics to this new style. There have been many articles and interviews regarding this new venture and we have carefully explained that the new look is not universal. Apparently, you have been misinformed.

Here at Archie Comics, we never take pot shots at other creators and we always wish them the best with their work. We feel that it is not good for us to tell the millions of Archie readers, both in newspapers and comics to boycott another creator's property. Immature actions like that are just bad for our entire industry.

(Archie Comics Publishing, Inc. Chairman/Publisher's Name Removed for Sake of Privacy)


jfruh said...

Whoa, somebody upgraded the AJGLU 3000's "pissiness" module.

yellojkt said...

I kind of figured Ted as being a Betty & Veronica Double Digest subscriber.

So-Called Austin Mayor said...

"Here at Archie Comics, we never take pot shots at other creators and we always wish them the best with their work."

Bull Shit.


D.B. Echo said...

Jeeezus. I can just imagine the letter they sent Kevin Smith after Chasing Amy came out.

vclortho said...

Interesting that they feel they can comfortably call you by your first name in the salutation, and then proceed to rip you and your work to shreds in a rather pointed and exacting manner.

Truth time: would it have been better if they started out their response with a "Dear Pinhead"? Or "Jughead", for that matter?

Dimestore Lipstick said...

What the heck do the AJGLU 3000's dark overlords have against Patrick Dempsey?

Robert Gidley said...

Two things I liked about the corporate letter:

1. "None of us at Archie Comics appreciated..."

It's like they went through the building showing everybody the Sally Forth strip and asking them, "Do you appreciate this?" and every single person said "Nope."

b. Because you didn't understand what they said, it's your fault. In the Tech Writing world, we call this "The product is fine! Just fix the customer!"

Clearly, their explaining skills are above reproach and they are omniscient (hmm, maybe they didn't have to run a poll--he just knew what everybody was thinking!).

Jym said...

=v= It's true that AJGLUco doesn't appreciate "potshots," to the point of litigation. Just look at what they did to Harvey Kurtzman and Will Elder's fine satire. (Oh wait, you can't. That's the whole problem.)

Derdrom said...

Sally's opinion that a grown man shouldn't purchase material ostensibly intended primarily for young ladies constitutes a call to boycott said material? If so, I really don't appreciate everyone at Archie Comics telling me I need to change my look for 25 or 28 pages.

Storyteller John Weaver said...

What humorless tw*ts.

I mean, having read their output, I already knew, they didn't know "funny" from a hole in the ground--but that letter really solidifies it!