Big Delivery Man: Got your new fridge here.
Me: Oh great! Thank you!
Bigger Delivery Man: By the way, this one holds a lot more beer.
Me: Oh, right....Wow...Beer!...Yes, more beer! That's great because...because that means, well, more beer...And, y'know, like the saying goes, bros before...beer?...Am I right?...Wait, am I right?...Anyway, high-five!...High-five!...C'mon, guys, don't leave me hanging!...Please don't leave me hanging...Please don't leave me...Y'know, if I leave my hand up like this long enough it looks like I'm hailing a cab...or saluting a German officer which...which is not good at all...Listen, I'm just going to put my hand down, go over to that corner and sob gently because, well, that wouldn't faze anyone at this point now anyway, would it?...Going to go cry now...Good news about the more beer, though...
If I could bear the possibility of rejection, I'd ask you to marry me, assuming I don't have to call you or make eye contact.
ReplyDeleteAt least you didn't respond: 'or wine coolers.'
ReplyDeleteWoo hoo! More beer!
ReplyDelete"Jeez, I can fit a WHOLE body in this one without having to saw off the legs!"
ReplyDelete...or more Zima.
ReplyDelete