Monday, November 19, 2007

The Five Steps to a Happy and Mentally Healthy Thanksgiving with Family

1. Poor yourself a nice tall glass of vodka.
2. Come on now, you can find a taller glass than that.
3. Aww, hell. Just insert a crazy straw in the Ketel One bottle.
4. Find yourself a cozy corner of the sofa, next to the sleeping elderly relatives.
5. Spend the rest of the evening cradling the bottle and repeatedly muttering to it in a drunken slur, "Next year, it's just gonna be you and me, baby. I promise."
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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousNovember 24, 2007 at 1:41 AM

    STOP MAKING ME LAUGH SO MUCH!!!

    I hate you.

    I hate people who are more talented than I.

    I hate people who are funnier than I am, and I'm fricking hilarious.

    Most of all, I hate people who get paid for being funnier than me.

    You and Vince Vaughn. Definitely on my list.

    ReplyDelete