With 172 blood-soaked previews and no opening date in sight, Broadway's Sally Forth: Turn off the Smirk musical has been delayed yet again after six actors were injured in high-flying acrobatics and another 47 were accidentally decapitated during a song about office politics. As of right now the production consists solely of Ted Forth talking endlessly to a very confused, elderly Walgreen's clerk about Star Blazers.
When asked for comment, director Julie Taymor said through a representative, "I don't get this strip. Is the husband mentally and/or emotionally retarded? Is their daughter Hannah's friend a boy or a girl? Why does one group of secondary characters have nice, normal names like 'Alice' and 'Ralph' while another group of secondary characters have fucked-up names like 'Aria,' 'Faye' and 'Nona'? And why can't my 82' animatronic Kitty destroying Paris in the Forths' dreams work without spewing corrosive acid on the premium ticket theatergoers' seats? Frankly, if it were up to me the whole thing would consist of that mother-in-law person telling everyone off in song and puppetry for three solid hours."
More news as events, falls, concussions and disfigurements warrant.