Monday, December 6, 2010

The Entirety of My Dad's Conversations Boiled Down to Ten Phrases

"Don't be a wiseass."

"Did you break it?"

"You wanna know what I find annoying?"

"That cocksucker Obama."

"Why can't I have an opinion?!"

"Somebody today said I look 55/45/like a young Marlon Brando."

"They stole (any concept) from me!"

"Those (any ethnic group but Italians) are ruining this country."

"My left (any body part but penis) is killing me."

"Why doesn't anyone listen to me anymore?"

3 comments:

Neil J Murphy said...

So his left penis is ok. What about the right one?

JaffeBlog said...

...he's like a lizard that way

crf said...

It drops off and he grows a new stumpy one?