Well, spring is fast coming to a close and with it all the great, life-altering plans I had for these past few months. This was the season I was really going to search out my destiny, not just await its arrival. This was the season that I was going to take those first important steps to becoming the person I always knew in my heart I could be, not just walk the same old path to despair. This was the season I was going to give it my all and become all that I can be. Or something like that. Whatever.
But here it is, almost mid-May, and I have yet to make the most of Netflix streaming on my Wii. I have yet to find a better alternative than the vegetable crisper to store my laundry quarters. And, as ashamed as I am to admit it, I have yet to build my writing business empire, going from an unknown principality to an unrecognized feudatory while fighting back both nationalism and stronger royal houses.
But then there is summer. Yes, summer will be my moment. Summer will be my time to shine, to get my act together, not only to improve my life and outlook but also my very soul. Summer will definitely be my year. Uh, season. Whatever.
And just to prove that this isn’t another case of idle boasting or mothballed dreams, I am seriously, definitely, sort of considering enrolling in an adult education course. And while I was indeed surprised to learn just how many classes are no more than a chance to get an autograph from a D-list celebrity or learn that shyness is a poor tool in self-promotion, there were a few options that sounded if not educational then at the very least not entirely booked up:
“Getting Your Classified Ad Published”
“Cooking with Ingredients”
“Finding Your Inner Child with a Flashlight and Scalpel”
“Avoiding Intimacy Issues”
“Daytrading, Horse Track Betting, Slots—The Three Paths to Financial Success”
So stand back, summer. Francesco Marciuliano is here and this time he's going to do more than just tan at a preternatural pace. He's going to learn "How to Start Your Own Handbag Line." Or "How to Invest in Tax Delinquent Properties For Pennies on the Dollar." Or just watch the last three seasons of Lost on his Wii. Maybe. Whatever.