Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Medium Large: A Possible Third Place Finish?

Did you know you can vote for Medium Large every 24 hours for the 2008 Weblog Best Comic Strip? Did you know said Medium Large is currently only 50-70 votes shy of catching up with present third place nominee Day by Day? How could you not know that? Isn't it major news? I mean, seriously, what newspapers and magazines do you read, anyway? "All of them"? What the hell kind of answer is "All of them"? And why am I making a Palin callback in January?

Anyway, I'm telling you this breaking news now so you won't be caught off guard just like the grasshopper in that fable. You know the one I'm talking about. While the ant toils away to get ready for the long winter months ahead the grasshopper frolics and fritters, completely unaware that the ant is in actuality the very serial killer that's responsible for a string homicides in the vegetable garden. Then one day the grasshopper returns home only to find his roommate hacked to pieces and a message on his bathroom mirror scrawled in blood that reads, "You're next." The grasshopper tries to tell the police what happened but they're of no help. In fact, for reasons the grasshopper doesn't quite understand the police think HE may be the killer! So the grasshopper must take matters in his own hands, even if it means endangering the love of his life. Immediately his girlfriend is kidnapped. Remembering something the ant told him at the beginning of the story--when they were both up for partnership for that architectural firm that wanted to build a new high-rise in the vegetable garden only to be blocked by a string of public advocates and politicians who are now all dead--the grasshopper goes to the ant's home, where he finds he is too late to save his beloved. Federal agents now surround the house, no doubt tipped off by the ant to frame our hero, but he escapes thanks to dumb luck and a particularly egregious plot contrivance. Ultimately ant and grasshopper face off on the ledge of the now partially constructed high-rise in the garden. Words are exchanged. The ant details his plot to have the grasshopper found guilty of the murders so that he alone could be made partner and rake in the riches from his stock once the high-rise is complete and fully rented. Then we see the flash of a knife. We hear the peel of a gunshot. We see a limp corpse drop 40 stories. We are horrified but learn a valuable lesson and are all the better for it.

So in conclusion, please do me the great favor of voting every day for Medium Large for Best New Comic Strip. And make sure to support The Comics Curmudgeon in his strong bid for Best Humor Blog.

And never, ever trust ants.

8 comments:

El Santo said...

So... if I'm reading this correctly, you're telling us to...

KILL XKCD?!?!

...

Ok.

Carl said...

When I looked just now, ML was clearly in third.

Ces, I've emailed you a few times (from different account) with no answer. Do you do personal appearances?

jtogyer said...

"ML" is behind "Day by Day"?!

C'mon, people, "Day by Day" is the webcomic equivalent of "Mallard Fillmore," but with more soft porn.

And mentioning "Mallard Fillmore" and "porn" in the same sentence just made me throw up in my mouth.

tmg12345 said...

Possibly Josh can toss a thousand or two of his votes your way? He seems to have them to spare...

Brian Smith said...

I just wanted to say that ever since I was a young boy, I've loved bizarre takes on the story of the ant and the grasshopper, so thank you kindly! (Blame "The Muppet Show," in which Sam the Eagle tells the story straight until winter arrives, then is appalled when the ant is stepped on and the grasshopper drives to sunny Florida.)

tmg12345 said...

Right now, ML is over a hundred votes up on DbD. Forget killing off a Sally character (though I might vote for Alice) - if ML comes in third, can we get some more TGP???

yellojkt said...

Just don't let the wingnuts find out that their favorite red meat echo chamber is being crushed by the guy who dates a Sarah Palin imitator.

Snow said...

Laughter should not be this painful. I think I lost a lung.