* "Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! Our house! Our helipad!...The gryphon!"
* "Of course I don't know what I'm doing! But do you know how much it costs to have a fresco refurbished professionally?!?"
* "I'm sorry, Rubella, but we just can't afford to have you as our maid anymore...Not even on alternating weeks...What?...Yeah, well you just try and scrape up the funds for a DNA test. Until then your little boy still calls me 'Mr. Levinson.'"
* "See?! See?! It said so right on the coupon! 'Two MEDIUM pizzas with one topping, free two-liter soda, $18!' You order two LARGE pizzas and you might as well say, 'Here! Ass-rape our bank account!'"
* "That's five dollars to pet the gryphon, ten to ride it and a hundred to have 15 minutes alone with it."
* "They want more scones and apple butter?! What do all our B&B guests have, tapeworm?!"
* "I rented the main house to something called The Real World. See the girl face down in our hot tub not making any more bubbles? She's the 'fun one.'"
* "You know, I'm really getting sick and tired of everyone saying the word 'arson.'"
* "Hey, Morty. Gimme a Pick 6, two Lucky 7's, a Jersey Jackpot and whatever you got in your cash register."
• "I ate the gryphon."