Monday, May 26, 2008

Surface Findings from the Phoenix Mars Lander

Martian soil comprised of 96% astroturf, 4% crushed Natty Light cans.

Martians already three films ahead of us in the National Treasure movie series, two in the Fast and Furious series and fourteen in the Leprechaun series.

Mar's controversial "rebel" flag also available as hood decals, bikinis and swaddling clothes.

“God Bless Tharsis Montes” stickers are everywhere.

Martian textbooks refer to existence of Earth as "an unproven scientific theory."

Martian Dennys won't serve anyone from Phobos or Deimos.

Martian family-values Senator found with his flarx in an underage pudenixblorp.

Construction of Martian Super Wal-Mart decried by upscale residents but Martian Super Target welcomed with open arms.

Mars needs women and an alternative to the SPEED network.

Martians quick to sue when you land intergalactic hardware on their '86 Pontiac Fiero.


yellojkt said...

Milk cartons for missing Martians feature Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Britney Spears.

Nom du Jour said...

There will be the remainder bin filled with the relationship help book "Men are from Jupiter, Women from Earth"