Monday, November 19, 2007

The Five Steps to a Happy and Mentally Healthy Thanksgiving with Family

1. Poor yourself a nice tall glass of vodka.
2. Come on now, you can find a taller glass than that.
3. Aww, hell. Just insert a crazy straw in the Ketel One bottle.
4. Find yourself a cozy corner of the sofa, next to the sleeping elderly relatives.
5. Spend the rest of the evening cradling the bottle and repeatedly muttering to it in a drunken slur, "Next year, it's just gonna be you and me, baby. I promise."

1 comment:

mintzworks said...


I hate you.

I hate people who are more talented than I.

I hate people who are funnier than I am, and I'm fricking hilarious.

Most of all, I hate people who get paid for being funnier than me.

You and Vince Vaughn. Definitely on my list.